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8.30.2013

90-to-40: Patience is a virtuoso

Day 55: I'm not a very patient person. I want what I want, when I want it. But, don't we all. I'm tired of struggling with it. It doesn't get great results - except to increase my stress levels.

As I get older, I'm learning the skill and art of being patient. It requires effort to change, but I believe I have it in me. I will be a virtuoso and play my patience like a piano, or a harp, or an oboe. Whatever... I will find the music and art of patience within me.

One way I've learned to cope with it is by embracing "anticipation." Really... anticipation is my favorite emotion. Whether I have been waiting at the airport for my partner, or standing on the edge of a platform counting down to zipline in the Smokey Mountains or just waiting in line at a store... it is the last few moments that are the absolute best part.  I guess I'm an adrenalin junkie... but it works for me.

I have also gotten pretty good at occupying my time. Today, I was working on a new walkway for my front porch and it started raining. Ugh... dashed my plans! I got very impatient with the rain... silly huh? I quickly got a grip and I'm using this time to accomplish other things and rest a little. I even sat on the porch and enjoyed the rain for a while. It was nice. So... no harm done. The front walk isn't going anywhere.

Over the past year or so, I have discovered that impatience is a symptom of being a control freak. The more I learn that I cannot control everything, the more I learn the value of allowing things to unfold. When I'm successful doing that, I find it is easier to have patience. Control is an illusion, anyway. Just because things go as planned doesn't mean it was the only option.

As I move forward, I want to continue to master this patience thing. I will continue to make plans, but be resourceful and flexible. I'd rather strive to let go of control than to hold on to an illusion.

Ideally, I'll become the "patience virtuouso." But it doesn't have to happen overnight. .. I can wait.

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