90-to-40: Unnecessary freak out guy

Day 65
These days, there are so few things that I deem to be inconvenient in my life. How can that be possible when I have a lions share of challenging situations? 

Lets take inventory... the first six months of this year, I travelled for my job. The remodel on my house is only about half done. I am in debt. I have to travel 600 miles just to see my partner (or vise versa) for another year. And there's plenty more...

Poor me, right?

I don't see it that way at all. I absolutely love my job. Debt can be paid off or written off - it's only money. My house is further along than I ever hoped. And my partner is an amazing human being by whom I never feel inconvenienced. 

I think I am a pretty lucky guy. 

It hasnt always been that way. You see, I've gotten a lot wiser over the past few years. Life has shown me what true inconvenience is... the hard way. 

Cancer treatment was an inconvenience. Having to move out of my house and onto a broken down money pit was an inconvenience. Dating a series of (insert colorful decription) guys before I found the perfect one... very, very inconvenient. 

I will be the first to admit... I have not always been successful at keeping my perspective. Ask anyone I know. I've gotten overwhelmed and fallen apart more times than I can comfortably think about. My freak outs in the past make me a little embarrassed now since many were merely annoyances.

I have come to understand that all of these experiences - the freak outs included - have all compelled me to try harder and kept me from becoming too comfortable. Anything that has ever improved my life has been inconvenient. Anything that is convenient has the potential to make me complacent. 

So... into my forties I go with this knowledge. I'm still transitioning from "unnecessary freak out guy" to "water off a ducks back guy." It takes time. But I'm even starting to challenge my own status quo.
What do you know... I'm growing. 

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