Day 45:
Today marks the half way point of this project. Day 45 of 90.
In the world of running, this is the point at which a novice runner would turn around and head back to the starting point - usually, home. You see, when a person first starts training to run, they are often afraid to go to a track or participate in a race that ends miles from where it started because they aren't quite sure they'll make it back.
Granted - the half-way rule gives a nice, clear mental milestone. Some days, after running, they feel great - like they could keep going forever. Most of the time, however, they are just praying to make it back home without vomiting. For each strong finish, there are at least two runs where the runner has cried as they ran, vomited behind a bush, prayed for death, or all of the above. In the beginning, it's enough to keep anyone tied to the half-way rule. It's about self-preservation.
As the runner gains confidence and endurance, they start exploring different paths and joining in short races. They become more confident they won't die as a result of sprinting for a while, taking an extra hill, or going a little further.
This is where I am now with my blog.
I've vomited ugly stuff all over the page. I've cried as I've written. My voice has cracked more often than not when read what I've written the following day. With each post, I've been focused on keeping my head down and running full speed ahead. Each post is it's own reward.
Now, I'm getting brave. I've reached the half way point and have no desire to go back to the beginning. I want to see how far I can go. I will blog till I drop!
From now on, the blood, sweat and tears are going to drop right on the page. Whatever happens, happens. If I crumble into a heap, so be it. But... if there is a chance that I can make it to the finish line, I'll drag myself across under any circumstances.
I've avoided some topics because I was unsure how to handle them tactfully. I have been overly concerned with protecting the feelings of others, being responsible in my choice of words, and not being offensive.
F*** that!
If there is one thing I've learned about turning 40, it is that this MY life. I'm at the point of no return and I feel I have the endurance and strength to carry on. Like any race, I'm truly only competing with myself.
Get ready... I may just vomit all over the place, cry, scream and pray for death over the next half of this project. But, then again, I may also reach a personal best.
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