90-to-40: Gut check

Day 8:

I have got to start trusting my intuition. It is almost always dead-on. Nothing good comes from when I let other people talk me out of my gut reactions or when my head is too cluttered to catch it.

When I lack confidence in myself and override my internal alarm, it always comes back to bite me. And..  it has over and over again. I've found that when I'm not on my game, I tend to doubt the gut feelings. Or, I simply lack the insight to do a gut check at that moment.

I can't tell you how many times that I've been right, but ignored my gut and ended up regretting it later. Alternatively, there are times when I followed my gut - even though it meant going out on a limb against all odds - and have been SO right. 

It is really hard to make those calls about people. In some cases, I've steered clear of seemingly wonderful people on a gut feeling... only to find out later what the reason was. It is strangely validating, but doesn't make me feel any better about it.

The truth may be that the gut reaction is no reflection on them, but is simply a sort of insight about the combination of our personalities or circumstances. Sometimes, perfectly wonderful people are not good influences.  On the other hand, situations have happened where I have counted my blessings to have escaped a potentially troublesome situation because I listened to my inner alarm.

I believe we are all equipped with this gift... but we don't know what it looks, feels and/or tastes like until we get a heaping helping of humble pie. Then, hindsight is always 20-20. But the next time... the hindsight turns to foresight, so... it isn't all in vain.

Unfortunately... when I make that mistake of not listening to my inner voice - or better yet, when I allow my inner peace to be disrupted with 'noise' - I miss some very important cues. And while I learn a lesson, I don't learn it positively.

Now... for the wierd part. I have a very highly developed sense of intuition.  In fact, it freaks people out sometimes. But... it freaks me out too and I find myself thinking "Nah... that's rediculous, there is nothing to worry about. No one else is worried..." and then I override my sixth sense.

I gotta stop doing that! While I may never understand it, I believe it is a God-given gift that I need to wield responsibly. I have to learn to quiet my mind and listen to it. I need to learn the difference between fear and doubt, and lack of confidence in who I know I am.

Intuition is not a defense... it is an offense. I've been given a master playbook to this game called life, but I don't always check it when the chips are down.

Lesson learned. Gut... checked. It is time to do the right thing for ME even when it doesn't seem fair... or sane. I'm more often wrong when I miss the cues, than when I dare to go with a long shot. 

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